Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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