A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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