dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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