I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize