Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
