I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize