No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
