Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
