I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
