My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize