I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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