cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
