TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
