do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
