Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
