I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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