I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
