Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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