Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
