Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
