kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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