my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
