Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
