Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
