Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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