Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
