Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
