i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
