oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
tonight lets celebrate not being married
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize