i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize