I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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