Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
