Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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