So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
only you would photoshop your dick
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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