So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
