Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize