I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize