She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
