I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
