Who did Billy Mays play for?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
