PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
