Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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