i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
