i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
