I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
