Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
