end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My liver just broke up with me...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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