Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Please don't give away my fajitas
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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