is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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