I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
