Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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