When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
