I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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