Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
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