Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
