The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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