Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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