you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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