My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
