Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
