office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
