I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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