wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I can't put those talents on a resume
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
