Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
