It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
